Love in the Library
by RonaldAndMione
Summary: She made him strive, she made him believe he could achieve whatever he wanted, and he wanted her. Set in HBP.


**This is a bit of a dramatic, angsty story, a type of story I wouldn't usually write, because I hate angst, tragedy and drama in stories if there is no happy ending. The only reason I'd write an angst story with an angsty ending was because it was a missing moment from a book, and I know that things would get better. This is the case with this story. It's a missing moment from Half Blood Prince, and I only felt happy writing it because I knew that Ron would fix the mess.**

**It was originally meant to include a bit of humourous banter, then I decided to include an epiphany and it went all dramatic after that. I'm happy with it for the time being, but I will probably want to change it later on.**

_I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong._

- 'Miserable at Best', Mayday Parade

It was with great panic that Ron ran into the library. He had just been attacked by his girlfriend in the Gryffindor common room. Lavender had demanded they exchange presents, and Ron reluctantly handed to her his gift. Lavender seemed a little stunned at receiving a coupon for Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop, but accepted it nevertheless, saying 'Well, Won-Won, it certainly is a lovely little place! Thank you!' Ron had received from Lavender a charm in the shape of a heart. Lavender told him it was to attach to the necklace he'd gotten from her for Christmas. He didn't have the courage or the stupidity to tell her that that necklace was currently collecting dust underneath his bed.

After their gift exchanging, Ron had thought maybe he could play some Quidditch with Harry, but Lavender thought differently. She exclaimed that they could go to Hogsmeade and use the coupon he'd gotten her. Ron had immediately blanched. He had heard from Harry the horror that was inside that shop, and visiting it for a few seconds to purchase the coupon had been terrifying. Ron had nearly suffocated in there from the amount of perfume in the air. He had only spent a minute in there and never wanted to return again. He was not going to spend a day with Lavender there.

Making this decision, Ron had said 'Lavender, that sounds great, but I can't!' to which Lavender had replied, 'No, no buts! Today is Valentine's Day and you will be spending the day with me.' Ron had sighed and told her they should go get ready, and as soon as Lavender had reached her dorm room, he had sprinted through the common room and out into the hallway, searching for a place to hide. He had ended up in the library.

It wasn't that she wasn't a nice girl. She was… if you thought about it. She was just very clingy and suffocating. She was nice to the point of annoyance. The reason Ron did not particularly like being with Lavender was because he was _always_ with Lavender. He never got a moment's peace. The time they spent together was mostly made up of snogging, so at least they didn't have to talk _too_ much about Lavender's shoes or some other barmy thing like that. Sometimes he'd kiss her just to shut her up.

He needed a break though. _No_, Ron thought, _I_ _need to end this. I can't be with her any longer. I mean it_.

Ron had made a similar vow to himself after Christmas, more pointedly, after the party which he had not attended. Hermione Granger had entered the common room looking breathtakingly gorgeous, and at that moment, all the anger Ron had had at her upon finding out she'd kissed Viktor Krum faded away. Instead, he had been filled with such longing he'd felt he'd explode. He was meant to attend the party with Hermione, but after locking lips with Lavender, that was cancelled. Instead, Hermione chose to go with Cormac McLaggen. They had not had a good time though, Ron had heard, which had made him grin with happiness.

The look he had exchanged with Hermione moments before she left to go to the party had made hope rise up inside him and lift him up. It made him hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't ruined his chances of being with her. What he needed to do, Ron realised, was break things off with Lavender. It was now February 14th and that task had not been completed.

Now, Ron was hiding in the library, the last place anyone would look for him in. Maybe it was slightly obvious, but Ron didn't have time to move once more. Ron began walking through the aisles, heading further and furtherer away from the door. He hid behind shelves, keeping an eye on the door meanwhile, in case Lavender came looking for him in here.

Ron walked over to the clearing in the middle of the library, where most of the tables were set in. He shuffled in between the chairs making his way to the next set of shelves. Suddenly, he heard a loud giggle and whirled around, facing the entrance.

Fear was consuming him. Could Lavender have found him so quickly? His face still turned to the entrance, he began walking backwards, slowly, steadily. He felt something hit his back.

"Oof!" a voice called out.

Ron whirled around, and it was not to see what had hit him. He knew what had. He knew that voice anywhere, even if he hadn't heard it in a while. "Sorry Hermione,"

The books Hermione had been carrying in a huge pile covering her face had dropped to the floor. Ron noticed she hadn't yet reached down to pick them up. Her eyes were wide and looking directly at him. Ron took the moment to admire her closely and appreciate being in close proximity to her – it had been so long since that had last happened. Since he'd last had the chance to be near her, she had gotten a few small, barely noticeable freckles on her nose and a small beauty mark underneath her right eye, also barely noticeable. Her face was expressionless, but her eyes showed irritation.

"It doesn't matter." She huffed, breaking the eye contact and bending down to retrieve her books. Ron stood still for a moment, then realised he should assist.

"Let me help." He said, crouching down to help her.

"I can do it myself!" she cried, but allowed Ron to pick up some of the books anyway. As Ron was handing _Hogwarts, A History_ over to her, their hands accidentally brushed.

And that was it. That was all it took.

The surge of electricity, the flow of magic that Ron felt, it reminded him of what he'd always wanted – Hermione. He still wanted her. He wanted her desperately. That touch was a foreshadow, it showed a glimpse of what could be, what he'd been hoping for for a very long time - her touching him, him touching her, him feeling her soft skin, her caressing his with her gentle fingers… that accidental brush reminded him of how much he'd been missing her, just wanting her back in his life… just wanting _her_. How could he possibly think that dating some other girl would get rid of his feelings for her? Those feelings… they were unstoppable. They were indescribable… they were… "…love." Ron breathed.

"What?" Hermione asked.

Ron's heart was pounding. He finally knew it. He had been wondering if he did for quite some time, but now he understood. He loved Hermione.

"Nothing," Ron answered hastily.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I could have sworn you said something."

_I love Hermione_… _I love Hermione_… _I love Hermione_… _I_ love _her_. Ever since the Department of Mysteries incident, Ron had been wondering whether his feelings for Hermione were stronger than just a mere crush. For six months Ron had been debating with it, and then he became Lavender's boyfriend… being with Lavender but wanting to be with Hermione at the same time made him even more confused… why won't those feelings for Hermione go away? Now it all made sense… he loved Hermione.

"I didn't say anything." Ron told her. "You don't want to talk to me, anyway." He bitterly said, unable to refrain from saying it.

Hermione straightened up, clutching her books to her chest in a possessive manner. "That's right, I don't." She turned to walk away.

The word came out before Ron could comprehend she was leaving. His mouth immediately blurted it out, a word that would make Hermione stop, a word that would make her stay with him for just a little while longer. "Hermione," Ron spoke, reaching out for her with his right hand, but avoiding touching her. He was afraid if he touched her once more, he'd come fumbling out with an awkward admission of his feelings. His heart felt like it was about to burst, and the feelings that would escape from it would come tumbling out of his mouth.

Hermione turned around, a bit of her hair covering her beautiful face. "What, Ron?" she asked, her voice soft. It was all Ron could do not to kiss her tenderly once he heard her say his name in such a vulnerable manner.

Ron stepped forward and, not listening to the nagging part of his mind telling him not to, took a few strands of her hair and tucked them behind her ear. "Why aren't we friends anymore?" he whispered.

Hermione looked up at him; he felt like she was searching through his soul with those eyes. "I think you know why." She whispered back, her voice cracking slightly.

"No, I don't." Ron told her honestly, afraid to raise his voice in fear of breaking the peace around them. "Please, Hermione, tell me, I want us to be friends again, I mis-"

"No, Ron!" Hermione cried, breaking the enchantment that had fallen upon them earlier. "You don't get it, you just don't get it! We _can't_ be friends anymore!"

Ron felt like with every word she spoke she pierced his heart. "Why? Hermione, tell me what I can do, tell me how I can fix this, you know I'm lousy with feelings and sensitivity and all that, and the only reason I got by was you, and now you're gone, and I can't, I don't know, I just don't know Hermione!" his voice got louder and louder, he was getting hysterical. He needed her back in his life, he was desperate.

Hermione had tears in her eyes. "You don't understand, Ron! I thought you knew, how you could possibly not know I have no idea!"

"Know what?" Ron asked, feeling so confused and lost yet at the same time determined. He did not have the emotional range of a teaspoon now, did he?

Hermione sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters, Hermione." Ron said, hoping the sound of her name might affect her, that it might convince her to tell him.

Hermione shook her head. "No, it doesn't matter anymore. I understand the way things are now; I get it. We're not on the same page anymore."

"Hermione, just tell me what the bloody hell you're talking about so I can fix this bloody mess!" Ron growled.

Hermione shook her head once more. "No, Ron. I can't."

Ron felt his heart breaking. Hermione had pierced it so many times it was shattering. "Hermione," he breathed out. "I miss you." He touched her arm gently.

Hermione inhaled sharply. The books fell to the ground once more. She bent down to pick them up again, and Ron lowered himself down to help her. As he approached her he heard a sniff.

"Hermione," he began,

Hermione looked up. "Don't." She had tears in her eyes. Ron leaned over to touch her comfortingly, but she pulled away before he reached her. "Leave me alone." She muttered. She stood up and walked away.

Ron didn't see where she went. He didn't watch. He didn't do anything. As soon as she'd uttered those three words, Ron had frozen. All he could do is just look at the spot that she had just been in, remembering her presence, something he hadn't been in for a long time. Those words floated in his mind, her voice echoed around his head. _Leave me alone_.

How could things have possibly gone this wrong? What had started off as just a way to retaliate after hearing Hermione had snogged Viktor Krum, a fun fling, had turned into a big mess. It was a complex web; one Ron didn't know how to get out of. What was going on with Hermione? Why couldn't they be friends anymore? He was meant to know it... Hermione had too much confidence in him, she always had… it was one of the things he loved about her.

One thing Ron knew, though, was that he would not give up. He certainly wouldn't. All his life he had been a lazy slacker, doing the bare minimum to get by. Hermione excited him, intrigued him… she made him try. She made him try to be the man she deserved, however impossible that task was… she made him attempt to impress her… she made him work hard to get her attention… she made him strive, she made him believe he could achieve whatever he wanted, and he wanted her.

He knew that whilst he would do anything for her, even die for her, he would never leave her alone. That was the one exception. He would keep trying, keep attempting to make amends. He would not abandon hope, he wouldn't abandon her.

Ron stood up, facing the world around him. He looked around at his surroundings. He could almost sense her there, he could almost feel her presence; he could imagine her walking this aisle, her soft, gentle fingers softly caressing the binding of the books before her.

Ron swallowed. He turned back to the doorway. Lavender could still show up. Somehow, that was not something Ron cared about. He didn't care about anything except this twisted, taunting problem with Hermione. He needed to do something about it, he had to - he didn't know how much more of her absence he could take.

He felt a sense of dizziness take over him. He fell back down onto the ground, sliding against the books and collapsing onto the floor. "Hermione," he breathed once more. He could feel the warmth around him, the warmth of knowing that she'd occupied this space moments before. He didn't want to leave this sanctuary. He didn't plan to.

She had told him to leave her. This was the one thing he couldn't do for her. He couldn't leave her. Despite her telling him throughout these years he was strong enough to do anything, he wasn't strong enough to leave her alone.

**Like I said, angsty, kind-of-hopeful ending. If you've figured out what Hermione meant when she was talking to Ron, that's great! I was wondering if it made sense or not. If you haven't figured it out, and would like to know, send me a message and I'll answer back explaining it.**

**Whatever you think of the story, I'd love to hear your opinion.**

**Thanks for taking the time to read this!**

**-Sasha**


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